Submitted by one of our readers:
(A good chuckle might help when all around seem to be losing their cool!)
CEO â€“Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFOâ€“ Chief Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET â€” A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET â€” A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING â€” The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO â€” The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
BROKER â€” What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR â€” Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST â€” Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT â€” When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER â€” A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION â€” The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOWâ€“ The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO â€” What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS â€” What you jump out of when youâ€™re the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR â€” Past year investor whoâ€™s now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT â€” An archaic word no longer in use.